Satire 

A Case on Mother Yashoda

 Considering an Indian couple Anurup and Sagarika Bhattacharya unqualified to raise their kids, Norway's child protective services took away their two children and placed them in foster care. The parents’ fault? They fed the children with their hands and the infants slept in the same bed as the parents.

We have learnt that as the next step, the Norwegian government is planning to sue Mother Yashoda. The government thinks that by feeding little Gopal with her own hands Mother Yashoda is setting a bad example. This practice is highly unhygienic and leads to overfeeding. Moreover by seating little Gopal in her lap, kissing Him, constantly embracing Him even while sleeping, she is endangering the health of the baby. On top of it by circulating the images of such backward practices through internet, books like the Gita and the Srimad Bhagwatam and their discourses in Norway, the Hare Krishna’s are polluting the minds of innocent Norwegian public.  

Believe you me the Norwegian Government is doing the right thing. If parents seat their kids on their laps and feed them with hands, then obviously the kids are going to become obese. And if on being scared the kids are embraced and allowed to sleep with their parents, then how will the kids become bold and fearless. By making them sleep on a different couch and by letting them eat on their own, we teach the kids self-dependence.

Look at the western world. How advanced they are in their food, clothing, life-style, heath, cleanliness, money, education, employment and everything. Look at their standards of enjoying life. When they become bored with their spouse they take divorce and re-marry. The percentage of first marriages ending in divorce is at a highly advanced rate of 50%. And what is our score?...  A measly 1.5%. Shame on us!  And how intelligent they are. Realizing the difficulties in getting divorced, they have now decided to do away with the complications of marriage, instead choosing to “live-in”, so that anytime they want they can move out. Some foolish people say that children born to divorced or separated parents are highly traumatized. In custody battles, the kids are cruelly forced to choose between either of their parents. Such people should realize that this teaches the kids to make the right choices at very young age. This will serve them well later.

Ignorant religious people say, “Material and physical well-being is not the only thing; we should also take care of the mind and soul. Parental affection makes the child feel secured and internally strong. Children from broken homes suffer from inferiority complex, anxiety, depression and are more prone of juvenile criminal behavior. But these are small issues with complete cure available through mental health physicians.

On the other hand, the western world takes such nice care of their elderly. There are first-class old age homes for them, where they can comfortably live their final days in the company of other elderly people. While in India, the youngsters in the family break their back caring for their old folks.

A press-release from the Indian foreign affairs department has disclosed that a high level Indian delegation has requested their Norwegian counterpart to reconsider their decision to sue Mother Yashoda. The Norwegian Government has now decided to send their expert to Vrindavan to meet Mother Yashoda and teach her modern methods of parenting and upbringing.

Our confidential sources have just revealed that before the Norwegian expert could visit India, she lost the court case for child custody, her kids choosing to live with their father. Under profound depression after the court-ruling, our expert attempted suicide by overdosing on narcotics. At present she is undergoing psychiatric rehabilitation.

Due to this delay, currently there is no stopping our dear Nandalal from sitting in His mother’s lap and fondly eating butter from her loving hands.